One of my (secret?) hopes for this trip to Denmark was that I would get to have another try at surfing. I’ve only done it once before: on Oahu’s North Shore at Will and Kerrie’s wedding, with Aisling.
Since I grew up doing a sport so connected with the water and a simple machine (you’re welcome, Erin 😉), I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be even more intimate with the water… to be able to find the water and get to the exact right spot where its power doesn’t overwhelm you, but guides you. Rowing is all about controlling the water. Surfing is about letting go and sliding to the exact spot where the water controls you.
So, this past weekend, I went to surf camp on the North Coast of Denmark.
(I promise I am also going to class. In fact, to prove to myself that I am actually doing the things that are the reason I am allowed to be here, I tallied up the hours.
Over the past week and a half, I spent…
… 9.25 hours sitting in class
… 7.5 reading for class and doing assignments
… and 9.5 hours surfing in Nordsøen.
The combined total means I spent more time on school than surfing. Phew.)
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Cold Hawaii Surf Camp hosts “Surf & Stay” weekends where you get to sleep at the camp house and get 2 hours of surfing instruction each day and full access to all the wetsuits and boards for your whole stay.
The weekend I attended, there were 5 of us total: Hector, Oscar, Rikki, Mattias, plus our instructor, Hugo. I’d like to introduce you to each of them.
Hector and Oscar are brothers from Århus. I’d say they were 28-30 years old, very close in age. With their parents, they own a “vidmarksbad” company (wilderness bath… basically a minimalist wood-fired hot tub). Their parents started the company in 1978.
When I told them I was from the States, they exuberantly replied that they loved the US. Later on in the weekend, I learned that their hope is to eventually move there. Specifically, to Scottsdale, Arizona. (?! Not sure if I ever quite understood why specifically Scottsdale.) When I asked them why they loved the States so much, they couldn’t stop talking about how friendly everyone is.
As we discussed the friendliness of Americans at greater length later in the weekend, Rikki nodded her head in strong agreement, eyes widened. All of the Danes (Hector, Oscar, and Rikki) genuinely seemed surprised at how kind Americans are.
Rikki spent 8 months at University of Wisconsin in Madison for her masters degree. (She is now a project manager at Novo Nordisk.) She played ulitmate frisbee competitively at school (and still plays on a French club team) and she related her shock when a teammate of hers at Wisco offered to drive her 3 hours to drop her off at the airport.
“People here would never offer to drive you that far,” she said.
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I had a similar conversation with my landlord’s parents, Uffe and Camilla, a week or so prior to surf camp. They live just a few blocks down from my apartment. (Ask me how I have gotten to know them so well another time.) They both commented that in America people help each other out a lot more than Danes do. I thought, when you have the best metro system in the entire world, why would you ever offer to pick up your friends at the airport?
I asked Uffe and Camilla if they think this is because of the Danish culture – which is more stoic, solitary, and cold – or more because of how excellent the support systems are. As in, if the government is taking care of everyone, then you don’t ever feel an obligation to take care of others? Quickly, he rejoined, “It’s both.”
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This past weekend, sitting on the back patio at the surf house, we had lots of time to unpack American kindness, which I admit I feel hitherto unaware of. I asked Hector and Oscar to explain a bit more.
They said Americans are much more likely to invite you in and exchange contact info and show you around. Part of me thinks this might be more their subjective experience when they traveled… But, in some ways, I agree (note, I only have 3 weeks of data collection so far). Danes don’t tend to reach out and talk or be social as much as I am used to.
I voiced my doubts to them.
Hector looked at Oscar and laughed darkly as he cracked open a beer, “Should we try to explain “jantelov”?
They tried. It was hard for me to understand even as they described it. It encompasses a value rooted in humility and simplicity and not thinking too highly of oneself. But it has a certain edge to it. Oscar provided an example.
“Let’s say you go out and buy a really nice car. A Porsche. And you are stoked to show it to your friends and loved ones. You are just pumped up about it. So you drive over to show it off to everyone.
“In Denmark, if you do this, the most common or general sentiment would be, ‘Do you really think that was a wise purchase? Do you think you are better than everyone else now?’”
I replied, “Yes, I can see that now. In America, there might be some people like that, but it would be much more common for people to be stoked with you. They would want a ride. They would celebrate it with you. If you were down about it and judged them, it would be uncool. It would be like raining on their parade.”
“Hah! Raining on their parade! I love that term,” Hector replied. (He’s so right. I never really thought about how great that idiom is… What a gift to see our language from a different perspective!)
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Later on this week, I spent some time digging into jantelov more. Here’s some back-translation from an online Danish dictionary.
Jantelov
Direct English translation: “Coin law”
Definition: Set of living rules in a (smaller) society which prescribes humility and restraint, especially if one has better abilities, more success, more money etc, than the majority
Origin: Formed by the author Aksel Sandemose in the novel "En flyktning krysser sitt spor" (Norwegian 1933, Danish translation 1938); first link is the fictional name of a small Jutland town where the main character grows up
Jantelovmentalitet
Direct English translation: “Coin law mentality”
Definition: Petty mentality that expresses itself as envy or dislike of those who stand out from the crowd
I’m looking forward to doing more thinking on this and asking more Danes about it. Studying it a bit on my own, I realized that I personally tend toward this mentality.
When I see it in myself, I label it as self-righteousness: that sentiment which prevents me from rejoicing in other people’s joy because I suspect them of selfish motivations or simply because it isn’t the decision I would have made. One of my earnest hopes for myself and my personal efforts as I get older is that I tend toward this less and that my heart is softer toward others, ready to rejoice with them and hold them open-handedly.
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Forgive my digression and let me continue with introductions…
Mattias, the other member of our “team” as we started calling ourselves, was from Germany, and was in the midst of a 2-week camping vacation along the coast. He is a physician who works for the World Health Organization and actually had been to Seattle several times (Gates Foundation collaborations). He had a camper van, so he stayed at a nearby campground instead of the surfhouse. Sadly, I didn’t get to hear his thoughts on Danish life. (He travels to Copenhagen about once a month for work, so I am sure he had thoughts.)
Hugo, our instructor, grew up on the Canary Islands. and I believe this was his second season teaching in Cold Hawaii. He didn’t speak Danish at all. Just English and Spanish. More on the Danish language in a later post… I have so many thoughts.
As a former coach, I always enjoy observing other’s coaching practices. Hugo was welcoming, easy going, and patient. He did a great job meeting everyone where they were at. Not only did he teach our 2-hour lesson each day, he had an additional 1-2 lessons after ours - one of which was a group of about 14 middle school boys. God bless him! Couldn’t believe his stamina.
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How did I do with surfing, you ask? I was horrible! But I caught some good waves and got to stand up a bunch of times. And I am hungry to keep trying! Pacific Oceans, here I come! I already searched how much a long board costs… 😉
Everyone in the camp left on Sunday morning after our 8 am lesson, but I stayed until Monday with the hopes of surfing one more time that morning. Sadly, the waves we pretty much non-existent.
Instead, I drove to the southern part of Thy National Park and went for a long run in the dune-marsh alongside the coast. And, I took one last dip in the ocean. What glory and majesty we are surrounded by on this Earth! I am praising God for the good gifts of rest and ocean shores. And, I am sending love to you all across this big ocean.
Footnote
I actually have time to listen to things and cook things! Here’s some things I can’t help recommending. Enjoy if you have time! :)
Song Recommendation
Reste un peu by Caloé - - The perfect music to warm up a chilly fall evening… Pink Martini meets Regina Specktor meets a bit of Ella Fitzgerald.
Recipe Recommendation
Sheet-pan Roast Chicken and Mustard-Glazed Cabbage by Alexa Weibel - - You need to start roasting slabs of cabbage this week.
Random YouTube Short
The Stuttering Skater - - It’ll thrill you, make you smile, and also make you kind of cringe in fear. Hannah and Aunty J, have you ever seen people do this in NYC?